Written on: December 26, 2017
by Elisa Coleclough
You have to have the behaviors in other for you to help others. It is absolutely impossible to influence another human being if you do not have the necessary skills, knowledge, abilities, etc. you want others to develop. Furthermore, consider yourself a mirror of how the other person might end up being and or feeling whether or not identified to you.
⇒“Before you can do something, you must first be something” – Johann Wolfgang Goethe⇐
It is not a matter of beliefs, it is matter of likeability, and I do not mean to like someone, I mean to the be the like that attracts the like.
Take a moment and think of the people that you know, from your acquaintances, to your friends, coworkers, etc., what are they mirroring from you? Each of them represent in less or more quantity a part of our character. Maybe they even possess behaviors we dislike secretly within us, but still it is that even in those behaviors is a tiny part of our character being reflected. For instance, someone is too loud, and we indeed might be too loud somehow. Maybe not to others in a visible way, but to ourselves judging us with “loud” words.
Both the behaviors we like and those we rather not have, reflect around us. Going beyond, take the “pet” for example. I am a pretty observant person and usually the dog, has a quality that either the owner physically possesses or that is embedded in their personality. The same happen with other types of pets as well. At home, my husband’s cat is a calm and does not get closer when strangers arrive, on the other hand my cat is playful and comes to say “meow” every time somebody is at home. So, if you have a pet? Take a look at it, tell yourself what you see, because you are seeing in him/her is a part of you.
Your behaviors reflect also around your physical spaces (in case you did not read my blog, read here). Our home, workspace, and any other areas we hang reflect a part of our personality, and they change and evolve as we do.
On the other hand, behaviors evolve, they either evolve naturally as we grow more mature, or evolve because we engage in a process to increase or awareness. As I always say, it is better to be proactive and engage in the self-improvement process ahead of time, so that we are ready for upcoming events and challenges.
Remember that part of success is to always be ready. The change is constant and the light and darkness around us comes from within us, we create it. The more we control our thoughts, actions, feelings and in general our mind, the more we will be able to take over the tasks and challenges life put us successfully.
It is said that we do not learn in other people’s shoes, I disagree, I think if we are humble and smart enough we can learn from other experiences so that we do not have to suffer the consequences. In the past, I was proud enough to say that I could make my own way. I am a little bit wiser today, I can tell you that I want to learn, and I am doing so from other people, those who were both more successful in their paths, or less successful, because learning derives from the “yin-yang” of life cycles. My “tip” to you is that you take your self-development seriously, tap into your potential and become a better version of yourself. By doing this, will we be able to avoid life’s challenges and tests? Certainly no, but we will be better prepared to pursue any endeavor we set ourselves to, and never miss great opportunities.
Additionally, whatever the role we play, i.e. parents, coworkers, partners, friends, siblings, etc., it is a matter of being congruent, how can I expect other to behave in a certain way, or possess certain skills or abilities if I myself do not have them? it is, for me, about integrity too.
My final advice is that, you should for this 2018, work on yourself, both internally and physically. Because one reflects the other and as I said earlier our relationships also reflect part of us. When we change, everything changes, but we need to proactive. As my professor Christian Simpson says all the time, success is 99% about who you are and only 1% of what you know, stay.
Happy Holidays & Looking forward to any comments in the box below. Eli